Its the first day of Recruitment! You have on fresh makeup, perfectly curled hair and your Spanx are making your butt look all sorts of amazing.

 



You are sort of nervous but you and your sisters are all in your recruitment outfits looking F L A W L E S S.

The doors open, your first party begins and before you even start talking to your PNM you realize you only have fifteen minutes to convey how amazing your sorority is!

You get some really nice girls who you really liked talking to. 






And maybe a rude one slips in there.

But then you get that one PNM who is literally perfection.

You may even develop a little rush crush.

By your fifth party, the red bull and espresso mixture  you chugged earlier begins to ware off.

“Are you a freshman? What’s your major? Where are you from? What's the best thing you did this summer?”

Lunch time rolls around and you discover there is literally nothing but goldfish crackers in the house to survive on.

You may even contemplate sneaking to get fast food but decide against it in fear of your Recruitment Chairs. 





And right before the doors open for another party, you may even gather the courage to ask your Formal Recruitment Chair if you can use the bathroom. By some grace of God, she may say yes but there will be death glares.  

By the third day of recruitment you are exhausted, your feet are killing you and you are already just SO done.

And by Skit Day you're just like…

Then comes Preference Night and while telling your story to a PNM about coming home to your sorority, you are overcome with ALL the emotions.

And then a senior gets up to tell her story and you CANNOT EVEN.

That night you are more exhausted than you've ever been. You have probably cried more than once and have found yourself somehow covered in glitter and hot glue gun scars. 



But then you remember…tomorrow is Bid Day.

The morning of bid day you put on those high waisted jean shorts and cover your under eye bags with as much concealer as you can pile on. #StillFlawless

Your new sisters finally makes it to the row and you find your Bid Day Buddy!

Pose for bid day pictures? No problem!

And then there is the dance party...

You teach your new pledges the songs of your people: Door Chants.

Sure, after it’s all done and your new pledges have gone home you are exhausted, in desperate need of sleep and real food but you are so proud of your sisters and absolutely in love with your new pledges.

Just before I graduated high school I was sitting down and talking to a teacher I didn’t necessarily always get along with or agree with but I respected greatly. She was an amazing teacher; vibrant, outspoken and really challenged me not only as a student but as a person. As many times as I butted heads with her, she was probably one of the very few people from high school that still remains in my thoughts to this day. It was the day that I sat down with her that I realized something important about myself.

It was a week or two before my high school graduation and as most seniors don’t have to do hardly anything the last couple of weeks of school besides show up, I found myself bored and wandering the halls sometime after lunch. I had made my way into the bathroom to touch up my mascara, chatted with a few fellow seniors who roamed aimlessly around the halls and then found myself sitting in a teacher’s classroom. She was possibly the most interesting person I had ever met and taking her class my junior year was probably the most fun learning in a long time. She was grading papers last minute just as most were while I spoke to her about a book I had read that week.

“But what about college?” she shot me a sharp glance. “Are you excited about college?”

“Yeah,” I answered instinctively. I had been asked the question about two hundred times since I had posted my acceptance letter on every social media outlet possible so the answer was easy and also true. “I’m really excited.”

She asked me all the typical questions: what I planned on majoring in, where I would be living, and what organizations I wanted to join.

“I’m not sure yet. But I’m going to rush.” I shrugged not really thinking anything of it at the time.

She looked up at me with confused, narrowed eyes. “Rush? You mean you want to be in a sorority?”

“Maybe,” I nodded. “It looked like a lot of fun and from all the research I’ve done-”

“Victoria,” she interrupted me. “Why would you want to do that? You are not meant to be in a sorority! You are a leader and not some follower.”

It took me off guard at the time, making me all sorts of confused. It had sounded like a compliment, her calling me a leader, but at the same time she was saying I wasn’t cut out for something. I didn’t understand it and her statement made me really think about what sororities were really like. I had done my research, watched Youtube videos, read blogs and sure some of the stuff was kind of catty and petty but so was high school. What did it matter if I got to meet new people and maybe even get some lifelong friends out of it?

After a lot of reflection, thought and a years’ worth of experience of actually being in a sorority I feel like I can finally express what I’ve been feeling lately.

I was never really the type of girl to party harder than I studied. Play hard, work harder has always been my motto. So when I came out of my freshman year proud of not only my 4.0 GPA but my letters on my shirt as well, people were stunned. Many would ask me how I had time to study when all sorority girls do is get wasted and party all the time. The answer was simple: I joined a sorority for more than the partying.

When I went through formal recruitment, I wanted to be what the girls in the houses wanted and from what my teacher had insinuated, they wanted a follower. I talked about socials and mingling with frats but when it was their turn to ask me questions, the one that always made me think for a moment was: “So could you see yourself being in a leadership position here?”

I was stunned. Why would they want to know that?

“Sure,” I answered truthfully. “I could defiantly see myself in a leadership position.”

They asked me about what activities I was in during high school, if I enjoyed them or not, what kind of classes I was taking, where I had traveled and what my hobbies were and then told me about their study abroad trips or how a sister was on Student Council. These amazing women were so much more than what most gave them credit for. They were kind, intelligent, cultured and above all well rounded. I was in awe of them all, their ambitions and ability to coax my own out of me. Every chapter was amazing and I soon found myself a little confused. These women I had been speaking to all day didn’t seem like the followers that teacher had said they would be. These incredibly sorority women were leaders on campus, in their communities and to each other.

Almost immediately after my initiation, it seemed like everyone was encouraging you to be a part of a committee or a council or even run as a member of Exec. Everyone from freshman to seniors had a fair chance and they welcomed any and every one. It was incredible to see sisters reaching out, those who had held positions offering to take their sisters out for coffee to tell them about what their title meant and required of you. These women wanted us, encouraged us, to be leaders by exposing us to other organizations outside of Greek life and helping one another to achieve our goals.

After an entire years’ worth of experiences, I can safely say that teacher was wrong. My sisters are leaders, every single one of them. From my president who pushes us to be the best chapter we can possibly be to my philanthropy chair who cares more about our charity than anyone could ever imagine. Yes, we are still eighteen, nineteen and twenty somethings having fun and going out whenever we can but we take our sisterhood seriously and wear our letters with pride. I look around my chapter room at all of my sisters sometimes and know that they’ll all do incredible things in this world but I also realize that I can also do amazing things because my sisters believe that I can and encourage me to do so.

So to that teacher or friend, parent or sibling who told you that being in a sorority will only hurt your chances of being or doing whatever you want, tell them to remember these few things: Sororities typically have the highest GPA’s on most University campuses. Sororities are some of the largest contributors to huge charities in the United States such as The Ronald McDonald House and Breast Cancer Research and Awareness. And just in case you need a little more proof that sororities build leaders; Condoleeza Rice, Lady Bird Johnson and even Hillary Clinton were all in sororities. They made strides in this world, changed the way women were looked at and, above all, were incredible leaders.

So yes, my teacher was right. I am a leader and I'm not a follower. That's why I joined my sorority. 

Love ya,

Victoria

Once you get your bid you think it’s all crafting, socials and big/little loving. There is a lot of that, don’t get me wrong but that’s not what being in a sorority is all about. Being in a sorority comes with obligations and one of them, while an obligation, is also an amazing privilege. Recruiting sisters to become the next pledge class of your sorority will be bittersweet. You are no longer the fresh faces on the row and the glitter and glamour of getting a big and your first social are sort of fading. You are kind of sad the excitement has sort of worn off but you are incredibly happy because you know your sisters, you have memories together and you’re excited to make plenty more. But most of all? Most of all you are excited that you aren’t the one walking the row in five inch heels in the middle of August stressing about which letters will be your own.

For new recruiters, the glamour of recruitment can sort of act as rose colored glasses. That is until you figure out the torture that ensues during recruitment. Bouncing, clapping, shuffling and chanting at the same time is hard. In the August heat? Even worse. Not to mention you have to slap on that smile while you are told to chant louder and learn to take and elbow or two to the rib when your sister shoves you down the line after a drop off. It’s rough and you are stressed about how you’re going to talk to PNM’s, if anyone can see how much your sweating because the AC is obviously not cranked low enough and you are so worried that you won’t convey the absolute amazingness of your sisterhood.

I get it.

We ALL get it.

It’s rough and stressful but that is what recruitment workshops are for. To sharpen those skills. As much as you may dread the soreness that comes after the bouncing and clapping or the sore throat you will definitely get after chanting for hours, it’s all really worth it and you should try to enjoy it while you can.

So throw on your Norts and Chacos and get ready for a great time because it's Recruitment Workshop Time!

Time with your sisters!

If this isn’t a good enough reason to get you to stop binge watching the newest episodes of Orange Is The New Black, I don’t know what is. You have probably been out of school for a few weeks which means you probably haven’t seen a few of them since before the evil of finals ensued. You’ve missed them and after many hugs and {probably} some squealing you can’t deny that just being around your sisters makes you feel amazing. You are going to have lunch dates and crafting time. You are going to be making amazing memories through the sweat and sore thighs. The bouncing and clapping definitely won’t be so bad with your best friends doing the same right beside you and the smiles won’t be so forced after a day with the people you love most. 

You Get to Work on Your People Skills

As bored as you may be in those lectures you will, no doubt, get from either an alum or some speaker you know nothing about, you can really learn a lot. As awkward as walking up in front of all of your sisters to pretend you are talking to a new PNM may be, it’s going to be just as hard talking to a real PNM. Might as well get out all your nerves on your sisters who won’t judge you for stuttering or awkward pauses. If you are like me and have no problem talking to brick walls, this should be a breeze for you so raise your hand when no one else will and show to your sisters that it’s totally okay to feel awkward and it’s okay to not. For those who don’t feel that comfortable, remember that these are your sisters and they are not here to judge or hurt you. Everyone from you FRC, the Alum/Speaker and your sisters are here to help you and in the end this isn’t only making you easier to speak to PNMs but to speak to anyone. 

Your Formal Recruitment Chairs Worked Really Hard

They are going to yell at you until they are blue in the face. They are going to bitch at you, piss you off and make you more exhausted than you’ve been in a long time. Your FRC isn’t going to be your favorite sister during recruitment workshops, spirit week and recruitment but you have to remember she is still your sister and that she’s doing everything for the betterment of your sisterhood. She is stressed, unimpressed and ready to rest. And making her job harder by bitching or not doing what she’s asked you about eight hundred times is only hurting your sisterhood, not just you or her. So slap on that smile and just remember that your FRC is just as anxiety ridden, ready for a nap and hangry as you are. Remember that in the end, all of your hard work this will not only get you a new, beautiful pledge class but possibly the best night’s sleep you will get all summer. 

So yeah, you are going to have to wear really uncomfortable shoes and Spanx in the August heat but you still have a while, so enjoy the company, be brave and have fun! Make memories and just remember that all your hard work will show itself in a beautiful new pledge class. Just envision your happy place and remember you are one step closer to Bid Day and new Pledges. Because what is better than that?

Love ya. 

{ WARNING: Includes incredibly awkward photos of an incredibly awkward teen. }

Dear Victoria,

So you’re fifteen! You’ve {attempted} to do your makeup just the right way, you have bought about eight thousand pair of Miss Me Jeans and have teased your hair to heights even Everest would be proud of. You plan on attending every football game even if your Alma matter isn’t so hot on the field, you plan on dating a cute senior and making straight A’s. Neither of those is going to happen. You are nervous, I get it. You are anxious about how high school is going to be, who you are going to be friends with and who you are going to become. Don’t worry, though. I’ve been through it all, came out on the other side and I’m here to give you some advice about surviving those turbulent four years. So sit back, relax and PUT DOWN THE STRAIGHTENER!

1. Don’t worry about what others think

You’re fifteen years old! This is probably one of the most care free times of your life before bills, tuition and finals. Don’t let those stereotypical “Mean Girls” and “Jerky Jocks” deter you from having a great time! Focus on grades, hanging out with friends and making memories instead of worrying if your makeup is just right and if your jeans are in the right shade. Who cares if you are a size two of a size ten? You shouldn’t. Go to the movies, talk to that cute boy and just breathe. The people that matter don’t mind and the people that mind don’t matter. It will take you a little while to realize that but once you do, it is pretty fantastic.

2. Have courage and be kind

I know it’s hard to be nice to the people who are cruel or rude but being the better person sometimes means kind to those who don’t always deserve it. It’s totally fine not to be everybody’s friend but that doesn’t mean you can’t be kind to everyone. Have to courage to go after whatever you want whether it be friendships, explanations or even small things like conversations. Have the courage to figure yourself out by trying different things, styles and experiences. People may judge or make fun of you for it but it is okay. It’s okay to get rejected, it’s okay to fail and stumble. It’s all a part of life.

3.  It’s okay not to have it all together

Once again, you are FIFTEEN! Planning is your thing right now because you are really excited for the future. I get that, but instead of planning what school you will attend or who you will marry in ten years focus one the four years you have ahead of you. Talk to people, make more friends, go to a few parties, stay out past curfew. Be a teenager! You are going to want New York, London, Paris and maybe even Hong Kong for a couple of years soon and that's great too but for now you just want to be a kid and if that makes you happy, do it. Not wanting what other people want is totally fine, too! If you don't feel comfortable drinking, don't. Do what you want and not what anyone else thinks you should do. Be a kid for as long as you can because growing up kind of sucks. 

4. Don’t depend on someone else to make you happy

I get it, you really like that boy you are dating. That is totally okay but eventually you won’t be head over heels anymore and that’s okay too. Be strong enough to tell him that and move on. Don’t go back just because you are lonely and don’t think that being with someone will make you happier. Don’t be jealous of the girls with boyfriends because it’s really possible they may not be happy as well. Don’t wonder what it would be like to be one of those girls who is having a baby because you are a kid and you will be for a long time. Being with someone else, having a baby, getting married...it all includes another person and you are still a kid. Learning how to be alone is hard and uncomfortable at first but being happy with yourself is probably the best thing ever. You are going to do some amazing things and doing the kind of things you want to do won’t always include someone else. You can’t love anyone if you can’t love yourself first.

5. Thank your family and your best friend. A lot.

When you thought the world was crashing down on you and no one was there, they were. Thank your best friend and remind her that even though she might be going to college before you, being best friends with her means the world to you. It will make both you and her feel a lot better. Thank your mom and dad for everything they do for you because you’ll eventually find out how hard the world is without them right beside you. Thank them, cherish them always and never forget that these are the people that mean the most to you in the entire world.

6.  Expect greatness!

I wish I could tell you everything. That after my freshman year in college, everything has finally come into place. I don’t. I’m far from figuring everything out but I’m happy. Like incredibly, insanely happy so I figured why not? Why not tell you some things that could help you be happier too? I don’t know everything but I’ll tell you what I do know. Being alone is probably the weirdest and best thing you will ever do. Your best friend will always be there no matter what and that is possibly the greatest thing ever. Your family is everything and their love and support makes life a lot lighter, brighter and better. Graduation is going to be the best day of your life, enjoy it and take more pictures. Moving away is hard but meeting new people and being away will make so much of a better person. You are going to do such amazing things. People told you that you would but you never believed it. Believe it, baby. You’re going places and I can’t wait to see where we end up.

I know you may not want to hear some things I have to say but trust me, in a few years you will have wished you had someone to tell you these things. I’m still figuring myself out so I can’t tell you that you will but I can tell you that you will have to work a little harder but it will be SO worth it. You will be happy even when things are really rough and you’ll realize that family, friends and happiness is everything. 

Here are some minor details that you should maybe also consider:

Do NOT bleach your hair, it will take years to grow back healthy and honey, it didn’t even look cute.

Stop wearing makeup. Your skin is great and that extra fifteen minutes you get to sleep in is much more satisfying than looking cute for anyone other than yourself.

Yoga pants will become your best friend so stop buying those incredible overpriced jeans. Your butt is going to grow, anyways.

Putting your hair up is way easier than curling it or straightening it. The messy look will be in very soon, I swear.

Don’t do sports. You suck at them and you don’t like them anyways. Just go to the gym instead.

Your boobs will come in and your braces will come off. The acne will stick around but that is what concealer is for. 

Congratulations, sleep deprived and barely suriving students! You made it through another year. You got through ten rough months of eight am classes and late nights out with the help of yoga pants and Starbucks all while maintaining some semblance of a GPA. Finals are rough, we all know that and appreciate your dedication to cramming. If you’re like me where you hole up in your campus library until they basically have to kick you out or lock you in, you’re exhausted. You walked out of your finals ready for the best nap of your life but instead it’s time to pack up your stuff and move on home for the summer. 

If you are lucky enough to have a twelve month lease on your apartment/townhome and parents that won’t threaten to cut you off if you don’t come home for a few weeks, please leave this sacred place. We do not enjoy your youthful glow and obvious happiness. Just sayin’.

So you made it home! You drag in your dirty laundry and overstuffed suitcases and collapse on your old bed. This is it. What you’ve been hallucinating about in you sleep deprived day dreams. The best nap of your life is right in front of you. That is…until it happens. You thought all your hard work and late nights of studying earned you some R&R? 

NOPE. Not going to happen.

 Be ready for the eight AM wake up call, whether it be someone washing dishes at six in the morning, a guy mowing the grass before the ass crack of dawn or just your chipper parents who obviously have no regard for you or the torture you have just endured these past few weeks.

It’s okay, though. You can handle this. You get yourself back into a regular sleeping pattern because finals totally messed that up, too. You catch up on some Netflix and maybe even start eating something other than Top Ramen on a daily basis. Everything is great until the boredom starts to settle in. If you’re like me and from an incredibly small hometown, your options are basically limited to a small strip mall, wandering aimlessly around the local Walmart and maybe a movie theatre. The boredom is sure to settle in even faster for us small town folk which will inevitably lead to insanity. 

Example of said insanity: you contemplate hanging out with people from your high school.

*shudders*

Every thought is basically:

I miss my friends. 

Oh my GAWD I’m so bored. 

Why isn’t my Big texting me back? 

Is she having fun without me? 

I SEE YOU POSTING ON INSTAGRAM!

I have to be the most boring person ever. 

I’m SO bored. 

I’m glad I’m done with finals, though. 

Final actually might have been more exciting than this.

I still miss my friends. 

TEXT ME BACK, DAMMIT!

                It isn’t that bad. You gradually get into a rhythm of not being so bored. You start hanging out with some old friends you haven’t caught up with in a while, maybe catch a movie or even go out of town. Maybe you’ve started working out and enjoying summer a little more and more at a time. Then you plan a night out. 

               Exciting, right?

                Living away from hoe was hard at first but you soon found to be an amazing experience! You never really had a curfew and even if your dorm did, you could probably crash at someone else’s place if you absolutely had to. The freedom was incredible and – you now realize – totally taken for granted. No curfew? Yeah right. Make sure to be home by ten thirty or your ass is grass! Try to reason with them? Explain you are almost twenty and not thirteen anymore.

El oh el. Not going to happen.

#sorrynotsorry

                Take a deep breath. It’s going to be okay. It isn’t so bad. Let’s just assume your parents ease up a little on the curfew and you meet them half way agreeing that two am is sufficient as long as you send eighteen thousand texts every ten minutes alerting them that you are safe and not dead on a sidewalk somewhere. You are getting used to being home and getting back into the swing of things when your mom asks you to go to the grocery store. Why is this so terrible? 

Reason number one: this action requires me to possibly put on human clothing, make my hair look semi decent and even possible splash on some makeup.(Lol. That last one won’t happen. That is what Ray Bans invented Aviators for.) 

Reason number two: bumping into people you haven’t seen in ten freaking months. 

Get ready to answer the questions bellow eight thousand times in the thirty minutes you are there:

1. “How are you liking college?” 

2. “How did finals go?” 

3. “Do you like it up there?” 

Where is the frozen pizzas again?

“OH HEY! Long time no see! How was your first year?”

I JUST WANT A DIGIORNO STUFFED CRUST WITHOUT ANSWERING YOUR QUESTIONS!

It’s hard adjusting to something you haven’t been around in a few months. I get it. No judgement here, peeps. I'm quite certain almost all families gets on your nerves after a couple of weeks because let's face it: you aren’t used to it anymore! I guess we should all just remember that our family, as much as they may get on our nerves, really love us. And we love them. I mean, who else is going to cook home cooked meals and do your own laundry for you for two months straight? Certainly not your RA.